


Null Hypothesis

by zulu



Category: House M.D., Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Mathletesverse, for:thedeadparrot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-07
Updated: 2008-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-02 03:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zulu/pseuds/zulu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by Thedeadparrot's Mathletes 'verse.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Null Hypothesis

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Thedeadparrot's Mathletes 'verse.

**Null Hypothesis**

"...so he accused me of using the Oxford comma wrong and really, you'd think we could get over the astounding stupidity of using two irredeemably different grammatical systems in one country, and the extra vowels are really more than I can be bothered with, as if I couldn't be thinking of more important things than where to put a u, and don't even get me started on the metric system."

House nodded, or maybe shrugged a bit. He was being suspiciously accepting about the fact that they'd both lost _five percent_ on their English essays for handing them in late, because _House_ had wanted to make out in the boys' bathroom that had had a "under repair" sign up since September, and what the hell did the municipality do with their tax dollars that Rodney had had to pee in the gym's washrooms for five _months_? Not that the making out hadn't been good. It had been, actually, pretty, um, spectacular. But, jeez, a ninety-three. His dad was probably going to ask where the other seven percent had gone.

_Anyway_, the point was, as stupid as English class was, he shouldn't be skipping it even if it meant that he was probably getting luckier in any one afternoon than even Jeff Yeager, who was on the football team and had his own car.

Since House wasn't talking, Rodney explained to him in precise detail exactly how the fact that he'd probably have to mow the lawn for three _weeks_, which meant hay fever (not that House cared) and that they couldn't hang out and do...whatever (which maybe he did care about, because he frowned a bit at that.)

They got to House's place, and Rodney shuffled a bit on the front steps, but House waved him forward--meaning, his parents weren't there, thank God--and Rodney pushed open the door which was slightly ajar, and then--_whoosh_\--a bucket of _ice cold water_ came down on his head, the bucket only missing his cranium by _inches_, and left the rest of him completely drenched.

House was already laughing his stupid head off.

Rodney sputtered, shook his head, and wiped his dripping hair out of his eyes with both hands. "Are you trying to _kill_ me?" he demanded. "You were _planning_ that, all the way here. You set me up! You wanted me to catch my death of cold."

House snorted, getting his giggling--yes, it was definitely giggling, nothing manly like guffawing--under control. "You don't get a cold from getting wet," he said. "At worst, I compromised your immune system."

"That's it, isn't it," Rodney said. "I am your petri dish. You're using me as your science fair project. You'll be sorry when I die of diptheria."

"The only science project is finding out what could possibly shut you up," House said. "My null hypothesis is that it can never be done."

"Oh yeah?" Rodney said, and then he had absolutely nothing to follow that up with, so he got revenge the best way he knew how--by grabbing House to drip all over him.

House pushed him into the foyer, and then it was kind of less about getting House wet and more about kissing him, which somehow never got old (clearly, needed scientific verification, and after school was the perfect time to experiment.)

"So that's what it is," House said, a bit later, when he'd helped Rodney out of his _death-dealing shirt_.

"What?" Rodney asked, distracted.

"How to shut you up," House said, and proceeded to test his theory.

 

_end_


End file.
